The Devil's Avocado

The lonely avocado sits unused in a bowl on the counter. Clearly forgotten about, he sags deeper and deeper into depression, his olive skin darkening more and more. But wait! What's this? A hand lifts the surprised avocado. Finally! A friend! As the avocado gets more familiar with the warm, firm grip of the hand, a less-friendly fellow joins the party: something sharp. It slices easily through the slumping avocado's flesh, cutting around the tough pit in his center. "Et tu, Manus!" the avocado groans after the knife violently loosens and discards his pit, and a new enemy—the spoon—scrapes away his flesh from his exoskeleton.

The demise of the avocado is a sad time for the avocado, but a fortuitous one for humankind! It takes all of 10 minutes to turn this vermillion fruit into a tasty dip to accompany tortilla chips. Onward!

Avocado, you did not die in vain.

Guacamole

Makes about 1 cup - approx. 10 min. prep time

Put the flesh of

- 1 Hass avocado

into a bowl with

- lime juice (up to 1 lime's worth)

and mash up good with a fork. Add

- finely chopped onion (about 2 tbsp)

- finely chopped cilantro (about 1 tbsp)

- ½ tsp minced or powdered garlic

- dash of hot sauce

- pinch of salt

- pepper to taste

And mix together until perfect (whatever that means to you). Eat with tortilla chips or... use as dressing on a sandwich!

That in itself is a tasty, healthy lunch for one or two. Guacamole can be enhanced through a number of additions, including finely diced tomatoes, jalapeño, and whatever else you want to throw in. Avocado is my next ingredient to conquer, so don't be surprised if he keeps coming up. (Or is it she? I can never tell with avocados.)

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Title inspiration: The Devil's Advocate is a dramatic film directed by Taylor Hackford, based on the novel by Andrew Neiderman, starring Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, and Charlize Theron, and featuring, among others, Jeffrey Jones (the principal in Ferris Bueller's Day Off). Released 17 October 1997.